Will give this a shot.
With Joomla, there is no possible way to install "patches". The only files that can be installed though Joomla's extension manager are extensions, such as components, module, plugins etc.
So, what you could do is, create a blank module and install it.
Then, in the XML file for your module, add the following:
Then, inside your module, you will need to create the directory tree:
updates directory, you'll need to create an SQL file each time you want install an update. Make sure the name of the SQL file is the same as the update version.